I want to talk to Jesus

Two mornings ago, I went to get Morgan out of bed and ready to go to daycare and one of the first things she said to me was, "Mama? I want go talk to Jesus." She sort of blew me away as that's not what I was expecting out of her mouth first thing in the morning. I wracked my brain for a fast way to let her know that she can talk to him anytime, anywhere, whenever she wants while still let her know that he can hear her while she can't SEE him. So I told her something along those lines and she just said that she wanted to go to Jesus' house and I said I'd see what I could do for later that day.

I kept this little tidbit in the back of my mind and get this - she asked to go to "Jesus' house" (church) again later that day. And she also wanted to talk to him, too. She didn't say what she wanted to talk to him about, but just that she wanted waffles and blueberries (a common church breakfast since we're always running late and she can eat that in a snacker container at church) and wanted to talk to Jesus.

I remembered to tell this to Adam the next evening (what? I forgot to tell him something amidst the chaos that is the evening? no...) and his immediate response was, "Oh. I hope she's ok." which was something that never dawned on me. Of course this is one of my most greatest of fears - that something would be wrong with one of my babies and they would have to endure some sort of terrible illness. I'm guessing she's just starting to understand and put together that we say prayers, go to church, talk to Jesus that way, share our money with Jesus (she loves to put the offering in the plate) and all that goes with it (minus the whispering - she's lost that skill at church only ;-) so hopefully that's it and not some divine intervention where something's wrong and she's talking to Jesus about it without filling us in.

Now that I said that, Adam will read it later and tell me I'm worrying too much and putting too much into it. Likely the case. But it's sweet to me that she thinks about Jesus, can say her prayers at night, and is an active member of our church (it was cute - last Sunday we were saying the Lord's prayer at church and she was listening and right after everyone said "Amen," she almost shouted, "AMEN!")

I love my girls and I love that they know and will grow to love Jesus too. We are truly a blessed family.

Photo Shoot Failure

Gah. I can hardly blog about it b/c it brings such great stress to me (worse than any work that I've had to deal with this year...this is ridiculous). We were to have Hadley's infant photo shoot today at 11am and after much craziness that was this morning (Morgan's first real swimming lessons, which she missed by exactly a half hour - more on this in a few), getting everything packed up for the photo shoot, getting everyone clean and pretty and out the door on time...only to have Hadley scream any time we laid her down to be photographed. Pair that with a 2 y/o who wanted nothing to do with being cooperative unless threatened or bribed (she did better with bribes, note to self) and we had a recipe for a mommy meltdown.

I managed to hang on and not melt down completely although I was really close. We didn't get a single picture of the family (which is the shot we were attempting first, fail.) without Hadley crying/screaming. We're trying again Wednesday and if that's not a go, I don't know if I can waste any more of the photographer's time. She's so great and I'm sure she has other things to do than wait for a tiny baby to behave...although that's not really it either.

And what the hey, tiny baby? Who DOESN'T want to be photographed in a super-soft blanket in an old, beautiful piece of luggage? With a bow in your hair to match your sister's? And maybe with a very itchy tutu on? (that was later tossed)

So we're trying again on Wednesday. I have low expectations so hopefully I'll be surprised. Morgan will be given full access to her iXL and/or the iPod so she's good and quiet while Hadley gets settled.

Speaking of Morgan, a backwards Yay-Boo (so a Boo-Yay) to round out this post...

Boo - I'm so O.V.E.R. this drama queen thing she's got going on...ANY time something makes her potentially upset, she starts this whole "hyperventilation" thing where she starts breathing fast and loud like she's going to start crying and it's 100% fake with a capital FAKE. Drives me insane. I'm going to be working on my super-ignoring skills b/c my verbal acknowledgement to squash it isn't working. Gah. Drama queen.

YAY - Morgan was to go to her appropriate age/level swimming lessons today at 9:30am. She and Adam barely made it out the door on time (since I was trying to get the fuss bucket ready for failpictures) and about a half hour later (they stopped to get dog Rx before lessons), I got a text saying the class was 9:00-9:30...she missed it. I was devastated...but came to find later that the awesome instructor took her with the next class which was a level higher than the one she was supposed to be in...and she was AWESOME. She waited in line with the other kids, tried what her teacher told her to do, and overall was amazing when she very well could have not been. Adam said in the beginning, the teacher went around and asked each child to state a pool rule. She got to Morgan and asked, "Do we walk or run by the pool?" Morgan emphatically responded with "RUN!" but later when telling me all about swimming lessons, had changed her tune and very emphatically told me "Not run, we WALK. Not run." She never ceases to amaze me with how grown up she is getting to be and Hadley is making it more apparent how "big" Morgan is in so many ways.

That said, she had some fine moments today where I considered selling her to the zoo.

Lucky lucky me today to have such great family members...we're thankful to have Grandma Susie here to help out with the girls. I'm thankful for Adam for letting me nap for over 2 hours today as I was way overdue for some extra sleep. I'm thankful for Morgan as she makes me smile so many times during the day and be so glad how she's growing. And I'm thankful for Hadley for her infant beauty...good baby nature (except for pictures! Gah, mom!)...and reminding me not to take her teeny tiny-ness for granted for a minute b/c I am really understanding how fast the time has gone with Morgan and it's going to be the same or worse for her b/c life is even busier now. I'm a lucky gal.

And....we supplemented.

Let me preface this post with a jog down memory lane...with Morgan, if you recall, I was terrified of supplementing for a myriad of reasons - I was sure it would decrease my supply, I thought Morgan would like bottles/formula more than breast milk and be "broken," we'd had such a hard go of it with nursing I didn't want to break that, and probably the most important reason - I felt like I would have failed her if I wasn't an exclusive breast feeder. That said, once we got over that hump with Morgan a few weeks (or was it a little longer?) after she started daycare, I was more ok with it. Ok, back to now...

So as I've posted, Hadley's been rather fussy in the evening hours (usually by around 4:30pm) until we get her into bed at some point between 8:30-10pm. She seems like she's in pain, as she arches her back and screams so hard that she occasionally sort of stops breathing/crying, zones out a bit, and then works her way back to being more alert (yes, I'm bringing this up to the nurse tomorrow at her weigh in). The first few times she did this, we were terrified. We chalked it up to belly issues (gas, whatnot, like Morgan) and have been giving gas drops (they temporarily help, but it might be b/c she likes the flavor), burping like crazy (also helps a little but not fully), and trying all sorts of positioning and whatnot. Music helps, oddly enough, once she hears it through her screaming.

SO...last night I took my turn with her while Adam put Morgan to bed. It had been maybe 1.5-1.75 hours since her last feeding and only 2 hours for the feeding before. She was screaming like a crazy person and trying to do the not-breathing-I'm-screaming-so-hard thing when it became painfully apparent that she was STARVING. She was trying her best through her screams to gnaw my arm off so frantic me, I warmed up one of the 1/2oz bottles of breast milk (pumping - not going so well...it's such a meager amount it almost doesn't pay), got it ready for Adam when he came back down (which feels like 10 years when he's not coming for very good reason), and he gave it to her.

This time with the bottle, there wasn't hardly any choking and she worked her way through it in about 3 minutes. I didn't want to wreck the next nursing with formula, so I quick nursed her and we had formula ready to offer in case she was still hungry. She must have had at least another 1/2oz, putting her at 1oz(ish) more than the nursing I was able to provide. Shortly after that, I put on her jammies and then took her into our room (where she's still sleeping in her bassinet) and bam. She was OUT. I laid her down which has been a trick sometimes lately and she didn't even move.

Needless to say, here are my thoughts.

1. She's not getting enough by the end of the day. She routinely goes 3-4 hours b/w feedings during the day and sleeps quite a bit. (I need to go wake her after this post, shocker). Since she's only had ~3 feedings by the time 5pm rolls around, I'm guessing she just needs more. (all based on one night's worth of trying things...which means none of them will work tonight.)
2. I've tried waking her to feed her more often during the day and yesterday she flat out REFUSED to nurse when I woke her at 3 hrs to feed. Refused. I put her back to bed and she woke up on her own 2 minutes after the financial guy got here. Nice. 
3. I have no problem supplementing after nursing if need be. I'm only going to do it if she needs it, such as in the evening when she's apparently starving. 

That said, I just heard a squeak and I'm going to roll with it. Then off to get some deals at HyVee before a neighbor comes to visit and then Grandma Susie is here for several days. Busy busy household! 

Stay tuned for more feeding/screaming/baby woes adventures. :)

Dear Sleep....I sure do miss you.

Sigh. Wish for one thing, another comes up to wish away. I wished for Hadley to gain weight so they could stop doing testing on her and we could stop worrying about her, and she obliged. THEN, the little food monger decided to take it to the extreme and eat every 2-3 hours at night which means 2-3 feedings every night which makes for tired parents, especially mom. So...super glad she's growing...not so happy about the decrease in sleep (hello, walking zombie mom/dad). zzzzzzzzzz...I'd love to be sleeping right now but since of course Hadley's sleeping like a ... well ... baby, I need to shower so I don't smell like yesterday's chlorine when the financial advisor guy comes over later.

Speaking of chlorine, yesterday was the start of another round of swimming lessons for Morgan. She was SOOOO excited and told everyone and their brother on her way in to the Y that she was "doh-ing to simmin' lessons" and told them her name "My name Moh-din" like I told her to tell her swimming teacher and "I doh in by mySELF!" b/c that was the original plan for her to go in by herself so I could stay out with Hadley. That's not how it all went down, however. Morgan was ready, but since she was the only >2y/o that was signed up for that time slot, they grouped her together with the little kids (6 months-2yrs). Not happy me. She's taken that class at least 5 times and we're so over it. It's boring and perfect for the little ones, but Morgan's swimming skills are beyond that now and we want her to learn real swimming skills she'll use later. SO...we participated in the class (so thankful I brought her floaties so she could swim alone with me right next to her) and then I promptly emailed the Y contact for swimming and signed her up for the Saturday class so she can be with other kids her age learning harder skills. Woo! Also, props go out to Hadley for being awesome in her carseat while I had to be in the water with Morgan. I totally forgot that there was Y daycare available, but in hindsight I'd rather her not be there anyway b/c I am scared of germs all over my behbeh.

Let's see, what else. Oh, a Morganism I don't want to forget (although we went through a list of three or four before bed last night that were hilarious, thus I can't remember them).

(Preface - Adam was giving Morgan crazy kisses with a whiskery face on her next/shoulder)
Morgan - "Daddy! No! Don't div me tazy tisses...on my net...you mate my...belly...sad!"

What. That kid is hilarious. It took her forever to get the entire sentence out b/c she was trying to figure out just how to say that she didn't want him to do that anymore.

Another one - Morgan is a fruit snack snob and hog. She must have the Gerber ones or we get "I don't wite deez." (don't like these). So...Morgan was eating her snob snacks and I was having some of hers that she "doesn't wite" and it went a little something like this...

Adam - "Morgan, can I have one?"
Morgan - "NO, you can't have one. Deez ah MY fooot nats."
(later, when Adam had gotten his OWN fruit snacks)
Morgan - "Daddy, you share wit me? I have a fooot nat?"
Me - "Morgan you don't like that kind."
Morgan - "I have one?"
(gives one to her)
Morgan - chew...chew..."I don't wite deez." Spit in hand.
GAH. (even though I was laughing)

Ok, must feed the tiny one before the financial advisor guy comes for signatures for something. I don't know. Ask Adam why.

New Year's Eve

Well, it seems that every other NYE we are having a quiet one b/c we know that it might be a long night...meaning not up having fun and toasting the new year, but up nursing, rocking, bouncing, and praying that everyone else in the house also sleeps when we want to. :) Although after she FINALLY went down last night, Hadley had a great one and only got up once to nurse, really, since 6:45am doesn't count as a nighttime feeding to me.

The stars have aligned and both girls went down for naps within 10 minutes of each other at Morgan's usual nap time. I am so excited I don't know what to do with myself even though I should be showering and then working on a nap. Meh...procrastination at its best. I swear after this post I'm doing the whole shower/nap thing. I swear.

So...I've noticed on Facebook that many people are posting that they're not sad to see 2011 go and are looking forward to a better year in 2012. I'm so thankful that our family really doesn't have to post that this year as 2011 has been pretty good to us. We've been blessed with our second daughter (just in time for a tax deduction, woo! - although that's totally not the point), God pointed us to staying in our home for now, and we have only 5 more months until we're financially at a point where we can feel less tied down with bills and are not able to consider ourselves debt free by any means, but definitely able to start really making some headway with some investments we've been putting off until other things have been covered. That, and when this change in finances take place, I've been promised a cleaning lady. I can totally do this for 5 more months if it means I get a cleaning lady in the end. ::seriously almost salivating at the idea:: And for the record, I made sure it was the WEEKLY kind of cleaning lady too. Not just the every other. Less for me to worry about? I think so.

Other things to think about...I'm sort of sad to see 2011 go. It was such a year of anticipation with the arrival of Hadley...and not knowing if we were going to be selling our house...and watching Morgan grow into an even bigger big girl it's not even funny. Don't get me wrong - there were definitely some downers to 2011, but I'm going to leave those for 2011 to worry about and look forward to this coming year. Some of the things I'm REALLY looking forward to in 2011...

1. Summer 2011. Twogirls. 
2. Significantly less summer hours at work. As in working 6-8 days/month to 1/2 DAY/month. Well, I suppose that just means July. June is a close second and August we start back at least half way through if not earlier, so let's just leave it at "significantly less work."
3. Tommy & Carrie's wedding! I get my last SIL and I couldn't be more excited. She's a wonderful addition to the family and a perfect match for Tom. And Morgan gets to be a flower girl again and hopefully she won't cry down the aisle the whole time like she did for the last one (disclaimer - she was 9 months old) :)
4. Another niece/nephew to arrive end of July/beginning of August! Yay Trav & Tab!
5. Watching my girls grow. I can't tell you how much joy this brings me. My heart bursts every time they do something new. (ie. Morgan serenading the entire post office this morning with ABCs and Twinkle Twinkle...Hadley now tracking things in her line of sight...Hadley being THREE WEEKS OLD today...when did this happen!?)
6. Working on the Adam and I side of things and being more open to the idea of babysitters (not family) and spending more time with him. Especially on the golf course. I truly miss that time with him. 

So, thank you, 2011, for all the wonderful gifts that were bestowed upon me and my family. 2012, you have a lot to live up to and I'm not worried for a bit that it's going to be another bang up year for the Schmidt clan here in Iowa. xo

Hadley and the Great Birth Weight Achievement

So....after 1,000 weight checks in the past almost 2 1/2 weeks, Hadley has FINALLY met her goal and reached her birth weight of 8lbs.7oz. as of this morning!! Yeah!! Here's a quick chronicle of how that all went down...

Tuesday after she was born (3 days old), weight check
8lbs 0oz. (fine, come back that Friday to check again for gain)

Friday after she was born (6 days old)
8lbs 0oz. (dr starts to get mildly concerned, come back and check again on Tues)

Second Tuesday (10 days old)
8lbs 1oz (dr is now getting concerned more...Hadley should be at birth weight any time now)

Second Friday (13 days old)
8lbs 2oz (concern. We're at 2 weeks old the next day and dr is concerned. Bloodwork and u/s next week without appropriate increase in weight)

This Tuesday (17 days old)
8lbs 4oz (Dr. still concerned and orders labs (gah). I'm feeling better and am no longer worried about anything other than taking her to get blood drawn by myself...thankfully she was a champ!)

Today (Friday, 20 days old)
8lbs 7oz!!

Yippee!! We are at her goal weight in just under three weeks. Dr. Mueller gave us a new goal of 6 more oz gained by next Friday but I don't care! Woo hoo! She's at birth weight!! :-D

Christmas 2011

I'm planning a double post here in the next hour but we'll see if that actually happens...Adam should be home from hunting soon and with him, Morgan, who is an attention whore and likes to spend time with me. Please don't be alarmed - I've read that description of toddlers before and it cracks me up every time so obviously I don't mean that to sound bad...which means I should likely delete it and start over but I'm going to leave it b/c that would take precious time to think of something else to say instead of just getting to it. :)

So...Christmas this year...it was quiet. It was anticlimactic. It was wonderful. So here's what we did...

My brother, Ross, and my SIL Kristen, came to visit from the 23rd-25th. They actually came in late late late on the 22nd and then we had extra time with them on the 23rd which was nice. That was Friday (clearly thinking while writing) and Hadley had yet another weight check before I had my "sanity" check with my midwife at 11am. I'm so thankful I had this appointment with Kim this time and while I feel 1000x better this time than I did postpartum with Morgan (I really should have had that appointment after Morgan...), I was still glad I went even if it was just to see and chat with Kim again. Oddly enough, I already miss seeing her weekly and am considering getting pregnant again so I can see her on a regular basis. ;-) Totally kidding.

We hung out much of the rest of the day and while I can't remember exactly what we did (dang, waited too long to do this post), I know we had a good time WAIT. Kristen and I left Hadley and Morgan with Adam and Ross and went to get super pedicures at ProHair complete with paraffin wax dips. Sigh. It was glorious and the new gray/purple color I have surely beats the half red toes I had prior. :)  That night we watched a movie after the girls went to bed (Bridesmaids! Hilarity at its best!) (actually, Morgan went to bed, Adam hung out with Miss Fussypants Hadley for some of the movie) and cashed in.

Christmas Eve day was filled with more fun as we made spritzer cookies (note - wheat flour is NOT meant for these cookies, gross) that afternoon and Ross learned how to play Angry Birds with Morgan. They had a great time. :) That night we watched another movie that Adam was the closest to being able to follow while I did laundry and the like. We then got everything just perfect for Santa's arrival and went to bed with visions of a very excited toddler dancing in our my heads.

Morgan woke up around 7am on Christmas Day and we worked on getting her all hyped up for opening stockings and presents...and she bombed it. :-/ She almost immediately didn't want to open her stocking gifts and needed help. She wanted her normal morning routine of coming downstairs, waking up to the day and checking out what's on the Disney Channel. No! No! Santa came, you silly girl!! Let's go see! Ripping paper, crazy gifts, fun times, looking "splendid" in pictures with jammies and crazy hair...but alas, it took us 30 hours to open all of Morgan's gifts. Keep in mind many of these gifts were from family back home too, and not just Santa even though he went a little overboard on her this year. (oops, I almost feel bad)

Some of the things Morgan received included a fishing game (the one that turns around and you have to catch them with a pole) which she LOVES, books, clothes, and a ton of other things I can't remember off the top of my head. Santa brought Adam and I a MacBook Pro computer that I am using to publish this post at the moment (PS. I LOVE it and can't wait to learn all it can do when my bff Steph comes down to visit in a few weeks as she is a Mac Pro herself. I'm hilarious.

The rest of the day included a big send off ham dinner for the family and then Ross and Kristen headed back to WI. The rest of us Iowans stayed in our PJs all day, worked on opening more presents, napped, and generally took it easy. It was great. And I was even able to relax despite the tornado that had hit the house with extreme force. That was saved for the next day and day after.

All in all we had a nice Christmas with our little family (and R&K!! They were great) in Iowa this year. We were both sad that we missed so much family time back home and it broke my heart to see Morgan (and us) Skyping with family back home and the first thing out of her mouth was "Grandma Grandpa I miss you sooooo really really much!!" and become sad into Adam's chest. I've always wondered what it would be like to have Christmas here instead of WI and I've always thought having our own family time might be something I'd like to consider in the future...but it wasn't the same. It wasn't quite right. I'm glad we stayed this year for a million reasons...but our hearts are in WI at Christmas time and that's where we belong. Next year, bring it on!

Now we prepare for the new year and I can't even begin to tell you how excited I am for what's to come. Morgan's at an incredible age right now and the thought of watching Hadley grow into her first year excites and saddens me at the same time (I don't like my babies growing into big girls). It's hard to believe she's already 3 weeks old tomorrow. We have infant pictures for her late next week and I'm excited to have these done - Morgan was WAYYY too fussy for infant pictures and with Hadley being significantly more mild-tempered (although her fuss has been somewhat increased the past few days), I'm eager to see beautiful baby pictures of her. (biased mother statement coming) She's just such a pretty baby that I can't imagine they won't be great if she's even a little cooperative.

Ok, off to the next post. Diego is keeping one busy, a nap (finally) is keeping another one busy, and Adam's doing something for work on his computer. Bring on the weekend!