Friends - I'm so sorry - I went on hiatus for 10 months. I guess life got in the way and I let it go. That's stinky of me. SO VERY MUCH has happened in 10 months. Hadley went from toddler bed to full sized big kid bed, turned 3, and is pretty much talking like a grown up (I MAY be known to exaggerate from time to time). Morgan has all of the sensitive 5 year old feelings, is reading, and looks like she may be 8 years old, not 5.
I digress - I'll get to all those fun, important details another time because I'm going to try my best to post 1-2x/week from now on. I can't keep missing all the fun stuff.
Yesterday was the hardest day the Schmidt family has endured in our 8 years (well, technically if you count dating time, it's almost 14 years, but who's counting? #me). Long story short, Maddie, our first fur baby, was feeling sort of yucky at the beginning of the last week in January so we kept an eye on her and decided to take her in on Wednesday. She was misdiagnosed with a respiratory infection and given meds. We took her back Friday as she had not improved and was getting worse. X-rays were negative and we were told to wait for the meds to kick in fully. Saturday saw a slight surge - a few ear perks, a quick step here or there...but lots of bad. Lots of fast breathing, no rest, she couldn't lay down, vomiting...and it just wasn't getting better or changing. Sunday was worse so we decided to go for a second opinion on Monday morning. Adam took her at 8:30 and within a very short time and a blood test, it was determined that she likely had a form of cancer and didn't have a chance to make it. Her liver and kidneys had pretty much already shut down or were thisclose to doing so and we couldn't save her. Devastation. Our first fur baby. The first one besides Adam and I to cross the threshold of our house as a member of the family. She was only 8; not even a chance to be old yet.
We decided to take her home so the girls could say goodbye to her and have closure. Hadley was with Grandpa Al at tumbling so I had him just bring her home. I stopped to get Morgan on my way home from work. Once we got home, we told Morgan who was devastated. We told Hadley when she got home, who thought about it and then asked, "So we only gonna have one dog?" Both reacted exactly how the countless websites I checked while waiting for test results said they would. We said tearful goodbyes, Al kept the girls at home, and Adam and I took her in.
The staff at Riverside Animal Hospital will be getting a sincere thank you from us shortly. They were calm and kind to us during this impossible time. Everything was so peaceful and hard and awful, but they went above and beyond. I don't think I could do their jobs and have to see this often. It's heartbreaking.
It was peaceful to see her not struggling for breath anymore. It was heartbreaking to know she wasn't going to be taking any breaths again. It kills us to think she's not going to be dodging crazy Jessie antics anymore. The pain of only hearing one set of tags jingling up the stairs hurts. Accidentally calling Jessie by Maddie's name is excruciating. Putting only one dog in her kennel at night is brutal. Dogs are truly a part of the family. Truly I say to you.
We are struggling and it hurts to write all this down. It's so permanent. I count to 2 on a daily basis no less than 10x on a weekday (kids or dogs, you pick), 100x on a weekend. It's awful that I only have to count to one for one of those groups now.
Will we get another and have two? I can't answer that right now. For now, we're mourning Maddie and praising God we were able to have her in our lives for the first 8 years of our marriage. She taught us so much and gave us unconditional love. She will be missed more than words on paper can begin to describe and our hearts ache for her.
A friend posted something on my Facebook wall yesterday that was just perfect. It's hard to read right now, but it's so true and how I'll end...
"When dogs go to heaven they don't need wings, because God knows that dogs love running best."
She was the best and is running her little paws off now, no hurt in sight.
The Schmidt Family Grows: Adam, Liss, Morgan, Hadley, Maddie, & Jessie
Tuesday, February 3, 2015
Thursday, April 17, 2014
The one where...it WORKED.
Holy crap this sort of thing almost never happens with Hadley. She WILLINGLY ACCEPTED the epic "paci removal." She slept through the night. It took a little longer for her to fall asleep and she cried a little once, but she SLEPT.
We had an "I'm a big girl with no paci and slept!!" party this morning and plan to do so every morning until she's 4. Ok, not that long, but at least until next week when we can deem her "broken" (of the awful habit) and buy her a toy. Because isn't that what good parents do? Bribe children with toys for being awesome even though the awesomeness would be forced upon her eventually?
Parents: 1
Hadley: 1
That's what you call a win-win, folks.
::please dear God don't let this be one of those crazy "honeymoon phase" things::
We had an "I'm a big girl with no paci and slept!!" party this morning and plan to do so every morning until she's 4. Ok, not that long, but at least until next week when we can deem her "broken" (of the awful habit) and buy her a toy. Because isn't that what good parents do? Bribe children with toys for being awesome even though the awesomeness would be forced upon her eventually?
Parents: 1
Hadley: 1
That's what you call a win-win, folks.
::please dear God don't let this be one of those crazy "honeymoon phase" things::
Wednesday, April 16, 2014
The one where the pacis … were gone.
Holy crap you guys. The past few days, Hadley has been obsessed with the little plastic slide in her daycare room. So much, in fact, that she would rather sit on her cot and stare longingly at the slide (and perhaps cause a little ruckus too) than go to sleep. (the teachers brilliantly have decided that tomorrow, they're going to move her cot.)
Discussion of Hadley's slide-love made me wonder if Hadley still took her paci at school so I asked. Imagine my SHOCK when the teacher said, "No…she hasn't used a paci since she came to our room (in January)."
Open mouth. Gaping. Shocked eyes. (look like a moron, I'm sure). WHAT!? I immediately decided that due to this little nugget of golden information, I'd push the issue at home. We decided this was going to happen in summer when we could sleep it off the next day(s).
Me: "Hadley!! You don't use your paci at nap time at school!?"
H: "No!"
Me: "Do you think we should make you a big girl at home too and put them away??"
H: thinks… "Yeah!"
Me: (ponders what I've just done) "ok!"
Rinse, repeat this conversation x2 with YES! each time…we were going for it.
Two "mommmmmmmmyyyyyyy"s later and a little extra time, she's sleeping. She hasn't fussed since. I'm hopeful for the overnight but we'll see. This could be exciting, folks. Hang in there and pray for us! If she can make it a week, she gets to pick out a new toy!
Discussion of Hadley's slide-love made me wonder if Hadley still took her paci at school so I asked. Imagine my SHOCK when the teacher said, "No…she hasn't used a paci since she came to our room (in January)."
Open mouth. Gaping. Shocked eyes. (look like a moron, I'm sure). WHAT!? I immediately decided that due to this little nugget of golden information, I'd push the issue at home. We decided this was going to happen in summer when we could sleep it off the next day(s).
Me: "Hadley!! You don't use your paci at nap time at school!?"
H: "No!"
Me: "Do you think we should make you a big girl at home too and put them away??"
H: thinks… "Yeah!"
Me: (ponders what I've just done) "ok!"
Rinse, repeat this conversation x2 with YES! each time…we were going for it.
Two "mommmmmmmmyyyyyyy"s later and a little extra time, she's sleeping. She hasn't fussed since. I'm hopeful for the overnight but we'll see. This could be exciting, folks. Hang in there and pray for us! If she can make it a week, she gets to pick out a new toy!
Monday, April 14, 2014
The one where we order a deck.
And it cost over twice what we'd planned. Joy. But no, really - JOY will be had by having this deck. I can't begin to tell you how excited we are to have a real-live deck as we've never had one. Our Iowa house didn't have a deck right off the kitchen and we pretty much never used the "patio" off the basement door.
It's going to be 14'x20' so it will be plenty big. I see us relaxing on the deck while the kids run around with their friends. I see us out there enjoying drinks with friends now and as we get older and I see many a meal had on the patio furniture we'll order once we get the deck in place (ask Adam to store one more thing in the garage he's still working on cleaning out? I'll take my chances on missing a sale on patio furniture.) ;-)
As soon as things dry out a little bit and the "spring" weather comes back, we're anticipating a deck in place in the next few weeks. We have a confirmation meeting to set it all in place on Wednesday after work as well as to pick out the exact composite material we want. I'm quite excited - one more outdoor space to add to our almost none at the moment!
In other news, I finally got confirmation that I'll be at MacArthur/Keller next year in the Green Bay School District. I was so very pleased as this was my first choice of 3 initially, 4 at the end. It's amazing how God works and knows which way to send you - initially I was quite upset about the entire thing but I've been shown that this is a huge opportunity to be even more in love with my work. I'm leaving behind good things which saddens me, but a new chapter means new, exciting things and I'm eager to share what I know/can do with this school. In addition, my second year means a gain in confidence, straight up knowledge of the WI system/paperwork, and growing as a professional in general. I'm so thankful I get to go do something I love (most days). ;-)
The girls are doing well. Adam traveled last week which proved to be VERY difficult with no yard for the dogs and being forced to walk them every time they needed to go out. Adding to the challenge was taking the tiny humans with me if I went down the block instead of just across the street (our neighbors are so kind - they said to come over and use their lawn whenever we needed - obviously we clean up messes - so I don't have to go far when I'm alone with the girls). The neighborhood had a fun snapshot of crazy as two dogs were pulling me down the sidewalk and I'm yelling at them to slow down and twogirls to keep up.
I'm tired. I'm so very tired but I can totally rock the next 8 weeks of school. More soon. Hopefully sooner than the gaping hole in time that was the last post to this post. :)
It's going to be 14'x20' so it will be plenty big. I see us relaxing on the deck while the kids run around with their friends. I see us out there enjoying drinks with friends now and as we get older and I see many a meal had on the patio furniture we'll order once we get the deck in place (ask Adam to store one more thing in the garage he's still working on cleaning out? I'll take my chances on missing a sale on patio furniture.) ;-)
As soon as things dry out a little bit and the "spring" weather comes back, we're anticipating a deck in place in the next few weeks. We have a confirmation meeting to set it all in place on Wednesday after work as well as to pick out the exact composite material we want. I'm quite excited - one more outdoor space to add to our almost none at the moment!
In other news, I finally got confirmation that I'll be at MacArthur/Keller next year in the Green Bay School District. I was so very pleased as this was my first choice of 3 initially, 4 at the end. It's amazing how God works and knows which way to send you - initially I was quite upset about the entire thing but I've been shown that this is a huge opportunity to be even more in love with my work. I'm leaving behind good things which saddens me, but a new chapter means new, exciting things and I'm eager to share what I know/can do with this school. In addition, my second year means a gain in confidence, straight up knowledge of the WI system/paperwork, and growing as a professional in general. I'm so thankful I get to go do something I love (most days). ;-)
The girls are doing well. Adam traveled last week which proved to be VERY difficult with no yard for the dogs and being forced to walk them every time they needed to go out. Adding to the challenge was taking the tiny humans with me if I went down the block instead of just across the street (our neighbors are so kind - they said to come over and use their lawn whenever we needed - obviously we clean up messes - so I don't have to go far when I'm alone with the girls). The neighborhood had a fun snapshot of crazy as two dogs were pulling me down the sidewalk and I'm yelling at them to slow down and twogirls to keep up.
I'm tired. I'm so very tired but I can totally rock the next 8 weeks of school. More soon. Hopefully sooner than the gaping hole in time that was the last post to this post. :)
Saturday, March 22, 2014
The one with the stereotypes that ring true
People tend to smile and laugh and share tidbits from their experiences with tiny humans when they see our girls in public, not unlike many children's parents, I suppose. Today, though, a stranger was talking about his great nieces while we were waiting to pick up our new lawnmower and I realized that so many stereotypes of kids/people/birth order/etc. ring true with our girls. For example…
Owies
Morgan: OH DEAR LORD A (teeny tiny almost can't see it) SCRAPE!! The world is ending! I might be dying! NOMOMMYDON'TPUTABANDAIDONITI'LLDIEMORE!!!! WAAAHHHHHH!
Hadley: BAM. play play play play…Me: "Hadley!! What happened to your head (while in the play place)?!? Are you ok!?" Child can be seen laughing and running away - don'ttakeawaymyplayplacetimewithowieattention. No lie - we went to McDonald's on our way out of town Tuesday (to WI Dells) and Hadley came out with a huge bump/bruise next to her left eye. We never heard a whimper out of that kid. She so badly wants to be just like the big kids.
Staying in bed at bed/nap time
Morgan: would never leave her bed unless the house was burning down and even then might question her decision because we told her to stay in bed. Now she knows she can come out of bed when her "wake up sheep" light goes off which has been a god-send for sleeping in on weekends for the parent-folk…
Hadley: bed/nap time - play talk noises Snoopy Hippo pacis (she's only supposed to have one at a time but can reach her stash on the shelf b/c we're lazy and don't want to get her one in the middle of the night). Yesterday at nap time, she'd already forced me to go in a few times to encourage quiet/sleeping. I found her GIANT white horse in bed with her and more playing/shenanigans going on.
Following Directions
Morgan: Generally follows directions. Needs reminders here and there but rarely sees the time out step anymore.
Hadley: similar to Morgan at this age, but about 100x more feeling behind it. SUCH a stinker. She says "no" all the time. She will look you in the eye and do almost anything you tell her not to one. more. time. After being away from KinderCare this week, I really think she's imitating the behavior of her little friends there, as we've seen a sharp decrease in some of her behaviors this week.
Imitation
Morgan: She rarely imitated other children as she grew because she was the first kid in our family so there wasn't much to imitate besides kids at daycare. We could reason with her and remind her that we behave a certain way, blah blah blah…and it would not be an issue for long.
Hadley: While she'll do her own thing, she imitates "big kids" ALL the TIME. Morgan climbs something high? Well, so can Hadley (fall, plop, bruise, heart attack for mom…). Morgan plays with her food and it doesn't fall on the floor? Hadley plays the same way and half of dinner goes to the dogs. Sigh.
Smarts
Morgan: Oh our little genius child. It was 2:1 for a long time and we taught her many many things. She knew her alphabet and a million other things by the time she was two. She's continued this love of learning and is reading and math and thinking and growing.
Hadley: Sorry kiddo - 2:2 is a totally different story especially when kidlet #1 talks a mile a minute almost every waking moment of the day. She's learning and growing too, but not like Morgan. This kid is going to be smart but she's going to also be street smart in a way that Morgan might not be simply because she's second-born.
There's more to the differences with these two. There are a ton of similarities - they are both good sleepers/eaters. They both love their family members to the fullest extent of their hearts and beyond. They are both adorable! They both have a love of books that makes my heart burst with joy. We wouldn't trade them for anything and we love the people they're growing into. The differences are what makes them perfect and ours.
Monday, March 10, 2014
The one where the second one is different than the first
As a parent, no one is EVER perfect (hello! see me pointing wildly at myself! and then a quiet finger at Adam...we're totally not perfect although I know we don't suck either). Sometimes I yell and feel that the girls are being irrational even though in all reality they're just being kids and all that goes with that.
That said, Adam and I have had some heavy discussions lately about Hadley's behavior. Let me preface - we know our girls are generally good and not horrid little humans. We work hard to make sure they shy away from being horrid little humans which ultimately results in discipline and guidance and rules and such.
Something we're both working on understanding is the girls are TOTALLY different people which means what works/ed for one does not necessarily work with the other. I'm understanding this more than Adam at the moment but then we get on the same page, things suck before they improve, then they're nice, and then Hadley's smartipants little self feels the need to retest and make sure we're still on our toes. I'd like to think it's her 2 year molars coming in (which the dentist just confirmed that Hadley is smack-dab in the middle of it) or the fact that she's picked up yet another cough-like-crazy cold, or cabin fever or (insert your favorite reason for 2 y/o antics here) but really? I think Hadley's just a totally different kid who shines SUPER BRIGHT when she shines and then makes you potentially lunatic crazy when she's the opposite.
I have more thoughts on this but I'm running out of brain power. Thank you time change, up for a long time with a coughing tiny human last night, and having to get up for work in the morning (whine, I know, don't we all get up…wahhhh). Only 3 more days of work this week and then some much needed time off - Spring Break y'all! Off Friday (Susie birthday lunch with the girls), Adam land during nap time (oh yeah! Toronto this week! conferences! sigh.), down time until Tuesday, and then we're headed to the Dells T-TH. Can't. Wait. I'm on a mission to find little girl floaties but I'm getting nervous…hopefully Adam knows where they are...
That said, Adam and I have had some heavy discussions lately about Hadley's behavior. Let me preface - we know our girls are generally good and not horrid little humans. We work hard to make sure they shy away from being horrid little humans which ultimately results in discipline and guidance and rules and such.
Something we're both working on understanding is the girls are TOTALLY different people which means what works/ed for one does not necessarily work with the other. I'm understanding this more than Adam at the moment but then we get on the same page, things suck before they improve, then they're nice, and then Hadley's smartipants little self feels the need to retest and make sure we're still on our toes. I'd like to think it's her 2 year molars coming in (which the dentist just confirmed that Hadley is smack-dab in the middle of it) or the fact that she's picked up yet another cough-like-crazy cold, or cabin fever or (insert your favorite reason for 2 y/o antics here) but really? I think Hadley's just a totally different kid who shines SUPER BRIGHT when she shines and then makes you potentially lunatic crazy when she's the opposite.
I have more thoughts on this but I'm running out of brain power. Thank you time change, up for a long time with a coughing tiny human last night, and having to get up for work in the morning (whine, I know, don't we all get up…wahhhh). Only 3 more days of work this week and then some much needed time off - Spring Break y'all! Off Friday (Susie birthday lunch with the girls), Adam land during nap time (oh yeah! Toronto this week! conferences! sigh.), down time until Tuesday, and then we're headed to the Dells T-TH. Can't. Wait. I'm on a mission to find little girl floaties but I'm getting nervous…hopefully Adam knows where they are...
Thursday, March 6, 2014
The one where they kicked me out
I'm wallowing in self-pity, folks. It will pass and I know I just need to get over it because it's life and (what!?) it's not all about me. I got an email from an administrator on Monday (the kind where it's all "Call me. My cell is blahbiddyblah.") and after some phone tag, found out through a very unemotional delivery that I was essentially being kicked out of my building as of the end of this year. The person whose spot I took didn't like her new position and given the circumstances of my arrival (late) and whatnot, she gets her old spot back.
I could say lots of mean things (since I've already thought them, obviously) but when it comes down to it, it's life and if that's how the rules go here, that's how they go and honestly, I'm not going to be the one to change them. Thankfully no matter what, I still have a job so that's not the problem.
Oh and I'm sad. I flat out cried after barely holding it together while she was telling me over the phone. I really enjoy my building, I finally feel like I'm making friend connections and not just professional ones here (this is so hard for me to do), and it's just a good PLACE. I told the administrator that I do not want a high school (I could go into the mess that is speech in high schools here but I'll save all that fun jazz for another day). Frankly, I don't want a middle school either (what?! why don't you want to therapize hormonal teenagers who don't want to come to speech!? I don't get it?!) but if I get a K-8 building, so be it (I don't think I will).
So now I sit and wait while all the other more senior SLPs get all the good spots and then I get the leftovers. Thankfully there are a few retirements as well, so I shouldn't be stuck with the high school opening they have...I could take the Assistive Tech position that opened as a result of the person coming back to my school but I don't want it. I want to see kids on a daily basis of all sorts of varieties. I'm not sure I'm cut out to work with gadgets all day even though I have the training and experience to get started, learn more on the job, and probably do ok.
AAAaaaaaannnndd it's conferences night tonight, followed by another night of them on Tuesday. Sigh. Such a necessary evil. I'd much rather have 15 conferences than 35 though...
POSITIVE NOTE:
Adam booked our getaway to Wisconsin Dells from March 18-20. It's just a few days away but I think it's just what we need - we need some fun, some water, some plain old family time away from the "norm." We haven't told the girls yet because they'll want to pack tonight and go tomorrow. Maybe this weekend. Maybe next weekend. I don't know but we best find their floaties BEFORE telling them...
I could say lots of mean things (since I've already thought them, obviously) but when it comes down to it, it's life and if that's how the rules go here, that's how they go and honestly, I'm not going to be the one to change them. Thankfully no matter what, I still have a job so that's not the problem.
Oh and I'm sad. I flat out cried after barely holding it together while she was telling me over the phone. I really enjoy my building, I finally feel like I'm making friend connections and not just professional ones here (this is so hard for me to do), and it's just a good PLACE. I told the administrator that I do not want a high school (I could go into the mess that is speech in high schools here but I'll save all that fun jazz for another day). Frankly, I don't want a middle school either (what?! why don't you want to therapize hormonal teenagers who don't want to come to speech!? I don't get it?!) but if I get a K-8 building, so be it (I don't think I will).
So now I sit and wait while all the other more senior SLPs get all the good spots and then I get the leftovers. Thankfully there are a few retirements as well, so I shouldn't be stuck with the high school opening they have...I could take the Assistive Tech position that opened as a result of the person coming back to my school but I don't want it. I want to see kids on a daily basis of all sorts of varieties. I'm not sure I'm cut out to work with gadgets all day even though I have the training and experience to get started, learn more on the job, and probably do ok.
AAAaaaaaannnndd it's conferences night tonight, followed by another night of them on Tuesday. Sigh. Such a necessary evil. I'd much rather have 15 conferences than 35 though...
POSITIVE NOTE:
Adam booked our getaway to Wisconsin Dells from March 18-20. It's just a few days away but I think it's just what we need - we need some fun, some water, some plain old family time away from the "norm." We haven't told the girls yet because they'll want to pack tonight and go tomorrow. Maybe this weekend. Maybe next weekend. I don't know but we best find their floaties BEFORE telling them...
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