The Goodbye Post

Warning: This post may be a bit of a downer, but I feel like I have to say goodbye to some things. Saturday night and much of Sunday morning was hard for me as it finally hit me as to all of the things I have said or need to say goodbye to. Some of them are temporary, some of them are forever, but all of them were/are hard at the time. These things were to be expected but are still hard when they finally get here. The positive which reins above all of these things are that I have a daughter who is the sweetest thing I could ever hope for in my life, that I'm healthy, and we have a really great life. So here goes...

• Goodbye independent person and hello to being super depended ON. And not just emotionally...for EVERYTHING.
• Goodbye (here's a temporary one) to being gone from my house alone or alone in general for more than one hour due to Morgan needing to usually be fed every other hour. This one is hopefully more temporary than it currently seems...But if one is going to be an exclusive breastfeeder (EBF) then this is how it will need to go. I could have Adam just thaw some frozen milk, but I'm uber protective of it and won't do it yet for fear that Morgan will need it in January when she goes to the sitter's.
• Goodbye beautiful cute bikinis. And not even just b/c I still feel "fat" now (I think I'm about +15lbs but haven't weighed myself in a while)...it's b/c of my stretch marks. I haven't mentioned them until now but they're there. I managed to stave them off until week 37, when I woke up one Saturday morning (September 26th, to be exact) on Jason & Julie's wedding, to find stretch marks starting and continuing across my lower stomach. They are more numerous on the left side for some odd reason. There are some dark ones in the middle. But either way, sad sad me will be saying goodbye to all of those cute little bikinis this next summer and be looking for some cute one pieces until I get my "mommy makeover" someday when we're done having babies.
  
• Goodbye (this BETTER be temporary) sleeping for more than 4 hours. I wonder what I would feel like if I actually got more than 4-5 hours. I might be able to lift a small car or something. :)
  
• Goodbye to being lonely for my own child. Goodbye to wondering what it's like to have a child growing inside me. Goodbye to yearning to be a mother. This is the best part of my goodbyes. That's why all the other goodbyes are so worth this goodbye. While I'm still overwhelmed at times with our little bear, I look forward to the day when we give her a brother or sister. Or two. Who knows.
  

So goodbye selfish things that I grew so accustomed to my whole life until now. May all these goodbyes help me to be a good mother and raise Morgan to be the beautiful woman I envision her being. But speaking of the bear, it's time for her to get jammies on, last feeding done, and off to bed. :)