Then later this afternoon just before Adam got home, I remembered that we had a Baby Bjorn to carry her around in that we hadn't tried yet. So I put it on and strapped her in...and we loved it! It was SO handy to be able to walk around the house doing a few things here and there while she was lulled to sleep. Another notch in the great day belt. :)
This picture (below) was from Sunday...Sleepiest. Packer fan. Ever. What a cutie, if I do say so myself although clearly I'm biased. We had to wear this outfit for Daddy and our outing we went on to Iowa City that day. She did really well on the outing - it was to the University of Iowa for a study Adam was involved in and then BW3s for lupper (lunch/supper)...and then she slept until we were on our way home...and woke up STARVING and screaming just as we were pulling out of the city. I was really sad that she was so hungry (it had been 4+ hours since her last feeding) and it would be 45 minutes until we got home...so I started crying and we pulled over to an empty parking lot so I could at least nurse her for a bit to tide her over until we got home. She ended up screaming here and there anyway b/c she needed her diaper changed and we were eager to get home asap to finish the feeding (and perhaps someone was excited for the Packer game we were missing). Lesson learned...although the night was TERRIBLE. Her worst ever. She was up from the hours of midnight-4:20am doing such things as feeding, fussing, screaming, and being ALMOST asleep before waking up again. And feedings were killer so we both ended up crying at some point that night. Sigh. But we made it through and Monday ended up MUCH better than Sunday night (will get to this later).
Alright, update on nursing. By Monday after a night of next to NO sleep (2 hours before fuss and 2 hours after) and the incredible pain I was experiencing each time she fed on my left side (reminder - right side is FINE, doesn't hurt at all), I was a wreck. Especially since Morgan cried much of the morning and I had no idea what to do (fed, clean diaper, comfortable, ????). So then I get a call from my friend, Casey, who wanted to know if I wanted her to come over and provide some insight into nursing. I eagerly accepted b/c at this point I had no idea what to do and was in so much pain each time I fed her I was desparate. Long story short - Casey informed me that Morgan's latch WAS correct and that we were good to go there. Thank GOD. Now, for some healing...but I digress for a second. Just after Casey called, a woman from the Dept. of Public Health called to ask how things were going. I had tried calling them earlier that morning but got nowhere and was rather upset about it. So anyway, she called and said that she'd have a nipple shield waiting for me when I was able to come and get it. Also, she was booked for the day but said she'd see me if she had a moment while I was there. I finally got there around 4pm after Casey left and I had a nap with the baby (who finally slept!!) and chatted with her for a bit. She seemed pretty sure that the nipple shield would be all I needed while I healed and then I'd be good to go. I agreed. By this time, I was super hopeful...and then Adam came home. Morgan got hungry right then. I started her on my good/right side and it was fine...then put the nipple shield on (was worried if she'd take it or not b/c it was much bigger than I was, although it was super flexible) and she did pretty well. I finally got to cry b/c it DIDN'T hurt like I was dying and she was getting the milk she needed. I am eager for my nipple to heal up so we can go without it but I am still SO thankful that I was able to finally suck it up, stop being so stubborn, and admit this was not something I could fix myself. Yes, I realize I have a problem with this. And am coming to realize, as many new mothers do, that asking for help sooner rather than later is the best way to go. People can tell you this a million times but sometimes you just have to go for it on your own. I wish I was not so stubborn sometimes. I would have saved myself SO much pain and agony.
Another part of Monday that really got me down was Morgan's 2 week weight check. I hadn't fed her before we went in b/c she was usually waking up and eating around 9:30am and since we had to be there at 8am, I just changed her diaper, put her in her car seat in her jammies, and headed to the ped's office. Mistake on so many levels. First of all, she was obviously starving by the time we got there b/c even though it was at least an hour earlier, she was awake and first thing in the morning, that means eat. Then when they finally weighed her, she was 8lbs 14oz which was 2.4 oz under her birth weight, therefore she needed to come in again next week to make sure she was gaining enough and we didn't need to start supplementing her diet with formula. At this point, supplementing = failing as an exclusive breastfeeder (EBF) in my mind, especially since I was in such pain and with the lack of sleep. After Morgan was taken care of at the scale, I turned to the nurse and started to ask her for a referral to anyone who could help me with breastfeeding asap that day (this is Monday). I'm mid-sentence...and start crying. She was great and got me in touch with Public Health and eventually to Louise who gave me the miracle nipple shield. So I'm fully convinced that Morgan would have passed her first weigh-in had I fed her that morning. I'm not worried especially since she's been eating longer and more since yesterday. She might be starting her first growth spurt - I've read it happens at 2 or 3 weeks - although she just proved too long for her newborn onsies this morning and is wearing the last NB onsie she'll ever fit in. Ever. OMGosh that means she's getting huge. She's still my little girl no matter what she doesn't fit into anymore. :-/
A note to you ladies reading this blog that do not have kids yet and have been scared out of your mind about breastfeeding after reading my woes. I think I would be scared too...but please keep these things in mind (as I'm a huge advocate for BFing if that's your decision):
- My right side is fine! What happened was Morgan tried my left side the very first time minutes after she was born and we didn't have a clue what we were doing. A good latch is KEY. Since her latch was less than stellar, I had some small blood blisters right off the bat since I didn't correct her. Error #1. Back to the right side though - it's great! So if you get the right latch, you'll be great after your nips get tough.
- Don't be stubborn like I was and think you can get it on your own if you're in such pain. I've got some serious cracking going on even though I religiously put lanolin lotion/goo on after each feeding. If it hurts and you don't think it's right, talk to someone RIGHT AWAY! And you'll be fine before you know it.
- It's not your fault if feeding/nursing goes less than stellar. Each baby is different and each mommy is different.
- READ about how to nurse before giving it a whirl or talk to someone who's been there. Here's where my stubbornness comes into play again - I thought I could do it with the help of the nurses after birth. While they were helpful, each had her own opinion and it was almost too much info at once. I didn't know which advice to really take. If I had known that Morgan's chin needed to be tucked into my breast and her upper lip/nose placed in such a way (which was SOOO close to what I had been doing...just not quite right though), I would have been in a much better place MUCH sooner.
Other than that, things are on the up and up. I went to the doctor today for my 2 week checkup and got a clean bill of health. I am able to start walking and doing light exercise at my own pace. And I'm taking it slow b/c I want to heal correctly. I am pretty in tune with my body at the moment and know when I need to take a break or stop what I'm doing. I go back at the 6 week mark which I think will be my final one. Whew. But it's true what they say - all modesty is gone. It's part of the process, I think. I think I signed that paperwork while I was signing the epidural paperwork. :)
Ok, off to give the monkey her last sponge bath. She hates them. I'm glad this will be the last one. Then big girl baths in her tub she's borrowing from cousins Tatum and Talia! :) Thanks, girls!
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