Nursing: Woes and Triumphs

So I'd like to touch on a topic that no one can prepare you for - nursing. And by prepare, I mean for how wonderful and horrendous it can be all at the same time. Let me explain...

Wonderful

• It's amazing to us that my body makes milk that sustains our little girl's life. I know this is a natural thing for almost all living beings, but to witness it with our little miracle is still something to be in awe of for us.
  
• She's so tiny when I'm nursing her. She just falls into place like she's done this since being in the womb. Almost...will touch on that later...
• I love it that she depends on me for this - and sometimes dread it (again, will touch on this later).
  
• We almost die laughing during middle of the night feedings (done in our bed at the moment since her bassinet is right next to me for now) when she's nursing away and then does this "huge" grunt and farts like there's no tomorrow. Last night she did it almost in Adam's face...hilarious. Then Adam knows what he's in for when he goes to change her before going back to bed...
• It's just an amazing thing...and I'm going to stick with it for as long as I can...which I'm hoping puts us at the beginning of the next school year (Aug 2010).
  

Horrendous

• Nursing hurts. I have ranked it #2 on my list of painful things, including ACL reconstruction and recovery. Obviously, labor pains are first. Sometimes I'd rather do PT on my knee again than nurse the baby for the sheer pain of it. Thankfully my right side is healed and getting pretty tough and really no longer hurts except for the first 15 seconds or so when she's latching on. The left side...TOTALLY different story. For some reason, this little monkey has decided that her latch on my left side is for nipple only instead of the areola AND nipple. That said, it feels like my left nipple might fall off at each feeding which is something I have psych myself up for it. I have cried b/c of the pain (usually accompanied by some wicked fatigue though) and don't wish it on anyone, really. Adam has even said that he's thankful it's not him nursing in general b/c it looks like it hurts. I've had TONS of support this week from friends and acquaintences that I am so grateful for. I feel like I'm getting a handle on the left side and it's getting a little better. I think I just need some serious healing to happen there and I'll be set to go.
  

Alright, peeps. Off to get some rest while the baby is sleeping. I'm not going to quit nursing her b/c of this. A friend of mine went through something 100x worse with BFing and if she can get through it, I can too. With lots of gritting of teeth and curling of toes. :) Anything for her to become healthy and strong.